The new year is officially 30 days away and next Friday on December 8th I celebrate my 30th birthday.
While some may be super excited about this huge milestone, I, on the other hand, feel pressured.
Well, my twenties weren’t exactly creme de la creme. More like trials and plenty of errors. And in that decade I’ve lived mostly in the headspace and through fear. I beat myself up a lot and pushed people out as a way of protecting myself. In result, I experienced many breakdowns and even suffered mentally and spiritually.
And that’s where the pressure comes in. I am determined to not repeat another decade of the twenties. My fear of reliving my twenties has whipped up some determination in me to be more kind, to myself and others, to be authentic, loving, and open.
In order for me to be all of those things I now realize that I have to be intentional with my time and actions.
It’s not enough to just want to be those things and to also attract them into my life; I have to put in the work.
I am so determined to take the necessary steps. And I’ve accepted the fact that this season will not look pretty some days. I look at it as a butterfly going through its metamorphosis which is not an exciting stage by the way. Can you imagine being webbed in your mess for months just to work your way out in order to pierce through as a new and evolved being?
Well, if that’s what it takes, then I’ll be intentional about getting there.
This week I seek help from my a God-send therapist that I’ll be working with.
I plan on sharing my journey here on Queendom Life.
So here’s to an early start of living intentionally! And a happy 30th B-day to me!
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